The 'joys' of motherhood.....

Continuing on with my 'joy-themed' blog posts...

I just spent 20 minutes doing this ....  TWENTY long, sunshiny, decadent----survival minutes.  Things are getting a bit nutty-crazy around here.  I am suddenly juggling all of these amazing projects--and loving every minute, don't get me wrong, but the days of lounging in the garden watching the weeds grow back... will only happen in 'stolen' moments, like today.

This day started out on the wrong side of everything.  I am paying dearly for basking in the glory of motherhood on Sunday and I have to tell ya, the eight year old is giving me a run-for-the-money.  Actually he always has--but this morning---ooooh la la!  We have been on rocky-roads with him lately--lots going on in that eight year-old brain and body.  He is pushing the limits of what he can do and say and taunting us with threats of even worse behavior if things don't go 'just so'.  Yikes.  He was normally so angelic before..... wasn't he?

So sadly --  I had to dole out a punishment this morning--my absolute favorite (f-a-v-o-r-i-t-e) way to begin the day, two sips into my coffee.  He was told that he would stay at school for lunch (dunt-dunt-dunnnnn.)  Yea, that's b-a-d.  He lives to come home each day from school for a leisurely 90 minute French lunch....not French food mind you (come-on...he's 8!) but well...usually French-fries with a side of something....

But not today.  He was told he would remain at school.  It was the only thing I could come up at this juncture.  We have tried 'no computer today'  'no games for a week' ...... no Ipod..... and all I could think was that I was getting so short-fused-angry at his courageously blatant disrespect--that something extreme was needed.  So there you go.

And lunch here without him was weird.  His little sister listened for the door and wondered where he was....And I missed him, so I was punished too.

Then in the midst of re-shuffling this afternoon, I went outside--and sat down, and put my feet up.  And thought--"I deserve these few moments of sunshine" -- Before getting back to it.  And besides, in 30 minutes he comes home and we will need to re-group, re-assess and re-bond.  Hoping that lessons have been learned.... and hoping that I have been re-invigorated enough to make the best of the fact that both boys are off school AGAIN--for the 3rd long weekend this month---for the next two days---a lovely long----4 day weekend.  I think they are only in school for about 21 days total in the months of April and May. 

Oh the joys ....God help us all..... so not kidding.  Oh the joys....

A bientot mes amis....

Well-planted.

So about a week ago, in a slice-of-sunshine, spring-Sunday-afternoon weeding frenzy... I pulled all of the bulbs that were in our garden.  There were daffodils, hyacinths and a few tulips that were here before we moved in, rarely bloomed and were coming up in really odd locations---under a garden sculpture or in the center of our gravel 'driveway'.

For better or for worse -- I dug them up.  I think technically, I should have waited for the green part to die back, but call me impatient-- they just didn't deliver this Spring....lush green foliage or not, enough is enough.  They had to go.

Our 'jardin' is a labor of love this year.  We have been in this house since we moved here now almost two years ago and it's been a love-hate relationship. (with both the house--and for me--also with France.)  It's not our house, but it is a good place, big enough for us five....very close to the beach....what else matters really?

And the garden?  A gravel-jungle.  A friend of mine commented that "gravel is so 'Zen'"... so I am trying to keep that in mind when I weed out every bit of grass and little tiny (yet long-rooted!) growing thing that pushes it's way up through my 'Zen' gravel......

We have weeded, cleared and added raised beds for vegetables and flowers...

But back to the bulbs.... they will not grow--or flower, unless they are planted well---they need space, depth, and encouragement probably in the form of fertilizer... something that makes them happy to grow. They have to be 'well-planted' in order to thrive.

With the garden, and with 'ma vie en France' the love-hate, shifts to love-love as I become better planted.  Let me tell you--transplantation is rough---especially if not done well!  I did not do it well with me...

But now I am finding my place and my depth.... and with any luck, and a bit of labor---the garden will flourish---and I can't wait to see when it does!

Bon Mardi mes amis!

A bientot!

Days of dribbling ...

Do you ever wake up in the morning and within 3 seconds of popping (prying) open your eyes you realize that you are more tired now than you were when you went to bed the night before?  Why is that? Maybe I have a little idea.... two words....baby.  cats.

We have two 'indoor/outdoor' cats, Pip and Polo --American farm turned French country cats who love the revolving-door system of going in and out all day and night. Actually the 'door' is our second story bedroom window... and actually they sleep all day, most of the time and then go out starting at around 11 pm and continue in-and-out until 6-ish... just in time to wake up the baby who may or may not have also been up and down all night long ......

Oooo la la la la la la!  It's not good.  The inspired heart needs sleep.  The creative mind needs even more.  The executive-functioning 'I can go up the stairs without tripping and I can pour and drink my coffee without dribbling all over my PJ's'.....needs the most.

This morning it's one of those.... I am all hazy and just now realizing a few forgotten deadlines, which is soooo not like me.   at all.   ever.  I am usually an all-business girl.  I write emails, plan follow-up, balance my check-book --- in my sleep.  SLEEP.  See the problem?

Petite Fille is 15 months old.  I can no longer blame postpartum 'baby-brain' on her.  I was 'chatting' with a friend yesterday about being overwhelmed and caught in the slippery landslide of missed emails and forgotten appointments.  She thinks it might be age-related--but I refuse that one.  (Especially since she is about 4 years younger than me I think...so that would put me in really bad shape!)

The cats -- well, we are sorting out how to make a really fancy yet secure cat door for them (downstairs!)  but that will take time and even more time to convince them to use it....  and even more importantly--teach them NOT to sit on our windowsill upstairs and howl to come in 50x a night!  Because cats are just so darn train-able!

Until then -- I am a bit stuck I am afraid.  I have got one source of energy, day-in-day-out --- the little joy-filled person that keeps us running even when we are running on empty.... 

and dribbling coffee.

Lots... and lots.... of coffee.

Still feelin' the joy?  I am!

A bientot mes amis!

Joie de Vivre ...

Yesterday was a totally bliss-filled day.  It started with sunshine and a l-o-n-g walk on the beach.  I went about 5 miles which was slightly over-doing it, but it was nearly impossible to stop! The sun, the breeze, low tide......

The rest of the day was spent outside--almost all of it.  Sorry to say for the weeds--it was not their day. The freedom to grow in every planted area and forcing their way up through the gravel--well enough of that.  I also decided to up-root and remove all of the bulbs which were finished.  They were here when we moved in, poorly planted and most of them did not bloom.  So I am hoping to put them back in the fall and see if they do better next Spring.

Everything else is popping up too-- little seedlings have survived being plummeted by rain and hail and beaten up by the wind.  I am so excited about our 'potager' for the summer!

... and otherwise, life is slowly getting back to normal.... except that I have noticed it is a slightly better normal. I had a wonderful conversation with my belle-amie....my 'bestie' lives in Bend, Oregon and we try to talk (for several hours) a few times a month.  We are so in-sync it's sometimes scary--in a good-funny-scary-kinda-way. 

We were talking about 'joy'....  a lot of people (myself included) have joy in their life but they are slow to acknowledge it, too busy to notice it... or resistant to giving in to it thinking that the flip-side of joy--is just around the corner if they do.

We had a long conversation about it and it has led me to think of a few things I will write about coming up.  Until then, I plan to open my eyes, take a moment (or two or three or four!) and embrace all of the joy I can get my hands on!

~ How about you? ~

A bientot mes amis!  Have a joy-filled day!