Needle in a.......

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house......So whilst sneaking around in the dark, arranging presents under the tree on Christmas Eve --- Ho! Ho! Ho!....fa-la-la.....yeeeee----oooowww---ouuuuch!  Something stuck me in my foot!  I think I leaped in the air higher than Dasher or Dancer and probably howled loud enough to be heard at the North Pole.... and then I went to bed....with not quite sugar plums dancing in my head.

The next morning woke up feeling pretty bad--but hey! It was Christmas and watching 'les enfants' open presents and especially watching 'Petite Fille' in 'French Guy's arms take in all of the excitement for her very first Christmas--distracted me from thinking too much about anything aside from the joy of Christmas morning.  Later in the day as I limped around the kitchen--I was mostly feeling stupid for stepping on something that I was guessing was a pin or needle left from the multiple sewing projects that were in the works for the prior few days... in the late afternoon I took a rest with my foot up feeling more foolish than anything else that I had managed to find the one AWOL pin that was embedded in the carpet with my bare-foot.  I should of been wearing slippers or something--but I am a bare-foot girl--even in the dead of winter--so are 'les garcons'---especially California born-'Oldest Garcon'--you can take the kid out of California--but you can't take California (and the tendency to prefer bare-feet) out of the kid.

Fast forward to that evening and I was no longer able to ignore that I was suffering more than a little poke in 'le pied' ... and when French Guy found a broken piece of less than half a sewing needle under the bench in our dining room it was time to go to get some x-rays in search of the other part....which was...yes, cringe....embedded now quite snuggly in my heel-bone... about an inch of sewing needle.  Lovely.

I am not good with blood, injury, etc.  I have been in the hospital three times in my entire life--for the birth of my children--that was enough.  I am not especially fond of being in a hospital here in France...no offense intended.  I cannot speak or understand French well enough to keep up with the dialog about my condition or what is happening next--that is upsetting to me.  I like having some control or at least knowledge about my well-being, what can I say?  So finding out that surgery was required to free the needle from my foot was bad news on the day after Christmas.....a definite memory-maker for the festive season--non?

I'll spare the details--but I lucked out to have a Brit for an anesthesiologist and a young French intern for a surgeon who spoke excellent English and enjoyed 'showing off' both how well he could speak and also thrilled to brag about how difficult it was to remove the needle--the surgery was supposed to be 10 minutes and it took more than an hour to get it out.....but my absolute favorite part of the day was the bright minty green drink I got to have before they drove my bed down to the operating room to 'relax' me--I read two pages of my magazine and listened to 3 songs from the new Coldplay album I put on my Ipod for the occasion--and the music sounded MAGICAL--in fact it is the best music I have ever listened to.....ever.

Well enough said--I am hanging out in our bedroom--able to get around only to hop on one foot to use the bathroom for a few days--desperately in search of good movies to download or interesting blogs to read...'French Guy' is serving meals to me in bed--taking care of 'les enfants'  and being an all around-Super Daddy.  (He is also, less than 24 hours into my very limited mobility, become very, very appreciative of what I can accomplish when on two feet....) and 'moi'? I already miss picking up the Monkey out of her crib, crawling around the floor playing with her....standing in the kitchen to cook for my family...and am kinda stressing about the growing piles of laundry.....  I am not a very patient-patient....

I hope your Christmas was much more joy-filled, pain-free and uneventful.....  and if anyone happens to know where I can get just a tiny bit more of that little green drink......... I hope to be up to dancing on the table top for New Years....

'Bleu' Christmas

I woke up today, determined to re-board the 'Christmas Spirit Train'.....how did I do?  Good enough...and tomorrow will be even better.  It was a hard few days between the news of loss of a friend and the tragedy that is around the situation and then the absurd debacle of Chronopost-France sending the parcel of Christmas gifts sent so generously and thoughtfully from my sister and her husband in Boston---BACK to them in a confusing, extortive, and downright evil GRINCH-like act of unkindness.....

So to top that mood--I forced the family to watch 'A Year Without a Santa Claus' last night--because I was deeply feeling like blue-Christmas girl......Les garcons enjoyed it, I think.  Middle Garcon who is 8 is right on the brink of 'believe' or 'don't believe' thing....and he believes enough that the thought of no-Santa makes him a bit anxious.  In fact--I have never heard of such power as that one simple word can hold---C-O-A-L....  Just the mere mention and he straightens up and apologies and kind words flow magically from his mouth.... for a few minutes...okay maybe an hour.

I am done being 'bleu'...although let it not be said that holidays are not really, really hard on the ex-pat.  Read my post from last Christmas to see--I was so homesick in 1000 different ways.  This year....better.  Still miss my family (mais bien sur!)  It is now Winter and that means there will be no visits at least for 3 or 4 more months--Normandy is downright nasty from now until late Spring--much like the PNW.  There is no joy in being packed into our little home with guests while the winds gale and the rain (sleet or hail) pounds outside.  So right now, not having a visit from Mom and Dad or loved ones on the calendar makes the distance feel greater--if the holiday didn't already enough.

Tomorrow it's back to the kitchen.  I am in the midst of finishing up some food-gift baskets.  A lot of work but I a would be lying if I said I didn't love doing it!  Being in the kitchen, creating---is my therapy.  Cookies baking in the oven heals the soul. I think forcing the family to watch a few more 'heirloom' Christmas specials will work wonders too!

We shall see.  You hang in there too!  We have almost made it to Christmas 2011--it's going to be wonderful!

Interlude from joy....

You can count on me for honesty.  You know that, right?  Because of this, I can not always post cheery, inspirational posts as much as I would love to, there are things that happen that derail the happiness, thought-filled pauses...revelations, brief interludes away from joy... grief.

Yesterday afternoon we were visited by a friend, who came bearing an unthinkable message--he came to tell us that a mutual friend had taken her life a few days ago... on this, one week before Christmas.  The news fell heavy on an already grey and cold Monday.  We spoke for a while, standing in my kitchen. I heard myself asking questions, maybe hoping the details would add some sense to it.

Our friend was troubled, to say the least.  She was weathering an extremely nasty divorce, struggling to care for two children, and had recently made the decision to move to Paris--we were hoping...to have a new start.  Not to be.

Of course looking back--there were the 'signs'...she bumped up her move by several weeks and vacated her house (next door to us) in a matter of hours.  Prior to that, a few months ago, she gave away the family dog.  I remember thinking--'Who gives away the family pet?'  ....someone that plans not to be around to take care of it.  Her two kids, 7 and 9 years old were around a lot--at our house and other neighbors, at odd hours...we knew that our friend was taking several prescriptions to 'cope' and suspected that she might be napping or resting, so the kids were bored and on their own.  But none of this was RED flag-ish enough--we sent emails and messages, our friend did not answer her door or phone but would occasionally respond to a text message.  We sent messages of support, invitations to come over just to sit if she wanted to....most messages were also unanswered and after a while we just let the distance grow as we knew what she was dealing with we didn't have first-hand experience with.

We saw her two weeks ago. I wish I could say we exchanged farewells and well-wishes.  But we were annoyed that she had broken her word to us about an arrangement--so instead all that was spoken was irritation and 'tough love' about what friendship should be....

I am sad for her, but more so I have to say my heart aches for her children, who have a broken relationship with their father, and do not have a support network of family members.  They were not with her when she died, thankfully, but will forever be marked by the choice their mother made to leave them.  For this reason I cannot write a touching 'tribute' about her.  Right now I am angry at her, how could she not think of them?...they have a very long life ahead.  I pray for a miracle for them to be able to continue and have a life with some happiness or a day of 'normal' even after this loss.

That's all I am going to say here.  I am compelled to remind everyone within ear-shot that this is the time of year that those who are suffering sometimes make a choice to leave this world in this tragic way.  If there is anyone you can think of--it may prove to be life changing to extend a prayer for them.  Take a pause from the holiday busyness and building anticipation of the 'happiest time of year' and think of those who need a hand... send a prayer and know that God is listening.... pick up the phone, text a message... knock on a door.

Pause.....   .

December Sunday

One week until Christmas! Can your believe it?!  For us this weekend has been 'the storm before the calm'... A little hurricane named 'Joachim' has been hanging around and we have had bellowing, violent winds, chilly temps. and about 5" of ..... hail.  No, not snow (sadly).  Just on-going hail storms--loud, hard pellets of various sizes, from pea size to large marble size--that pound down--'Petite Fille' is not to happy about the noise--on the glass windows and the metal veranda roof....she crawls for cover under the closest table.

So you can imagine--when Sunday morning broke with rays of sun and calmer winds--we jumped at the opportunity to go back to the Sunday marche in Trouville Sur Mer, to see our old friends. It has been months since we have been able to go.

When I say 'friends' I mean the merchants at the market that we have come to know and who know us from the regular Sunday trips to the market....

 

I hadn't realized how much I missed their faces, they seem always friendly, smiling maybe because they too appreciate the small break in the storms... and when there is sun on a winter day in Normandy--what's not to smile about?

I am transfixed by the 'new' fish market.  It rivals the amazing market at (dare I say it out loud!?) the fish merchants at ..... yes, my beloved Pike Place Market.  Since the renovation, the market is so shiny and bright and up-scale--yet the merchants are still the same hard-working and proud 'mongers' of their treasures from the sea.....

I have my hopes set on some oysters from the market for Christmas or New Year's--I have a set of gorgeous vintage oyster plates just begging to be filled up!

One of the many things I am looking forward to.  Until then, back to the preparations!

Bonne semaine mes amis!  

Let it snow!

A short post -- I am eager to jump into 'baking/creating' day!  It's a blustery, rainy, grey day here and I have to get moving on creating some 'food-gifts'....which I LOVE to do--so I am almost giddy to get started. 

I had to get the decorating of the house finished (or almost) to clear the way and switch gears--and now I have only a couple of days to cook up some little gifts for the teachers before school closes for the holidays.

I won't be waylaid by Petite Fille's snotty cold -- I have miraculously avoided 'catching' it so far---nor will I let myself be slowed down by the pain in my shoulder that I just managed to re-activate when getting out of the shower this morning---merde! Just a little nerve-pinch--no biggie.... (waaaaahhhh!)

I'll post the pics and recipes on 365 French Days when I am done--but so far it is looking like: Nougat Chocolat, Italian Almond Cookies, Clementine Marmalade, Pignolis, and just to mix it up a bit some whole grain herbed mustards.....

Wow, I better get started!  Have a wonderful day too!  Don't you just love these kind of days? Now if only it would S-N-O-W!

A bientot!

Bon Week-end

Time is going so fast.  Here it is Saturday morning and I am sitting in bed having coffee and trying to arrange in my head the order of the priorities for the weekend.  We have just nixed going to 'Middle Garcon's' holiday thingy at school this morning--he didn't want to and we didn't feel like forcing it.  Besides---'someone' --- ahem---got to sleep in until about 10 this morning......much needed let me tell you....and maybe more needed than standing in the cold with a wiggly 'Petite Fille' to go to a bake sale and to watch the second graders croon French Christmas Carols.....priorities.....sleep, coffee in bed, blogging......check!

Yesterday I had a luxurious hour to myself to walk around downtown Trouville Sur Mer with my camera-- luxurious-hour-to MYSELF-walk-camera----if that doesn't say it all, I don't know what else would!  Except that I should mention (maybe I shouldn't) that before that I had an appointment with my amazing 'Belle-Niece" who spent an hour working on my shoulder-pain...so I left her osteopath office almost floating down the street--pain free after about a month of tension (yes! she is THAT good!) So in the bliss department----over-filled!

A little 'window-shopping'.....

My plan was to go to the notorious 'Marché aux poissons' which is less than a ten minute walk from my appointment.  The historic building from 1936 was just re-opened this year after going through an intensive reconstruction that resulted from fire-damage in 2006---in fact, it is said that it took longer to rebuild it (2006-2011) than it took to originally build it.

So I wandered and took a few pictures---not the best ones--but I think the fact that I was on my own just shooting for fun--made it a perfect afternoon....which is leading (already) into a perfect weekend.

Bon week-end mes amis!

Faites briller l'argenterie....

Decking the halls is taking longer than expected.  I wish it was just as simple as opening a few bins and putting things out, buying a tree, stringing some lights and then vacuuming up a few stray needles.  But instead so far it's gone more like this---take a few things out--put them back away---start a few crafty projects---finish half of what needs to be done----l--o--n--g---p--a--u--s--e----and then after cleaning up the kitchen, doing a bit of laundry, playing with 'Petite Fille'  going to French class.....I resume and do a bit more decorating---and here I am, about a week later with only a little to show for all that effort.  Don't get me wrong--I am enjoying it, but wow, I don't remember when it ever took so long.

So today the little tree came into the house, it's really small but 'live' so we can plant it later---somewhere---maybe at the neighbors house, or some night after dark we could sneak into a local park and plant it there.... we don't really have a yard, or a place for a tree.....it was the right size (to go on a table top safe from the curious almost 1 year old) and not too 'Charlie Brown-ish', it actually has a cute shape-and small enough not to need a load of balls or stuff on it, so I am happy.

Aside from the slow decorating (which I am not stressing about at all) there is a strange 'ease' to the holiday season so far.  Today I actually played hooky from my class to stay at home to decorate, do some holiday shopping on Etsy, and make cookies while 'Middle Garcon' convinced me to sit for a while and watch his current favorite movie.... We, so far, are not overbooked with plans for the holidays, have most of our gift lists for 'les enfants' sorted out, haven't had snow yet, and I have to say---Life is good.  France continues to grow on me.  Again---less stress this holiday season than last, on many levels, but there is also this sweet calm in our home--which is feeling more like 'home' each day.

I wish there was a way to wrap up some of this rare peacefulness and share it with all of you.  It's good to be in a good place and be able to enjoy what you have, and not become overly focused on what you think you want....during a season that forcefully promotes 'want' over 'HAVE'......

I have everything on my list already--to be perfectly honest.  Now if I could only just finish putting out the decorations...or not...I know it will get done, sometime.  It's all about priorities--and I think I am doing just fine.

Hope you are having a 'bonne semaine' too mes amis!

Thank-Full.

From this point onward to the end of 2011, we shall all be lost in the holiday buzz and endless preparations....even though today is only the first of December.  I have not found one person who has said that the Christmas season has not been rushed-into, forced too early and we all, despite best efforts get sucked into to pre-holiday stress of it thanks to the likes of 'Black Friday' which is almost now 'Black-Thursday-right-after-your-last-swallow-of-turkey' with everyone heading over to Walmart, Best Buy or Circuit-City to catch the best deals of the season.

Well....not so here in France.  I can only speak from my own perspective noting that Normandy is a bit remote, it's not Paris--so we might just be lucky that way.  Stores most certainly have had the decorations up for weeks now--there is no Thanksgiving--and very little Halloween, so we go straight into Christmas trees and lights with only a brief prelude of the harvest decor.

I am okay with it.  I plan on embracing every bit of the Christmas spirit.  It's a time when my creative mind runs rampant and I don't feel like such a geek for making homemade things, spending hours in the kitchen is less selfish, and I can pour over holiday magazines without guilt--for days or at least late into the night.

Thanksgiving came and went in a flash.  This year we didn't take the boys out of school but instead planned our 'feast' for Saturday.  Reflecting back on last year when I was 8 months pregnant, very, very hormonal and even more so very, very homesick--Thanksgiving was tainted with that low dull ache in my heart for friends and family.  This year, not as much--which speaks volumes to the adjustment factor--and our table was filled not just with our family, but dear friends as well....not to mention the presence of 'Petite Fille'  who tried duck for the first time. (Yes it was a turkey-less thanksgiving due to the fact that I wasn't going to special order a 'cher-turkey' when we don't love it anyway.)  Even so, on Thanksgiving Thursday we exchanged messages with loved-ones, Skype'd with mom and dad, and I could honestly feel the warmth of this special day all the way across the miles....making me think that Thanksgiving is in your heart--not on your table.

 

I am excited to get moving on the holiday busyness.  I think we are going to drag out the decoration bins this weekend.  It will be a table-top tree for us--less danger (and fun!) for 'Petite Fille' and the kitties and doggies--and as long as there are plenty of sparkly lights--it will be perfect. 

I am filled with thankfulness--for the life we have, for the love we are surrounded with--and already full of thanks for what is yet to come....'blessings not yet seen'..... 

Hope you had a Thanksgiving full of love, laughter and rest.... who needs turkey? --really.

A bientot mes amis!

Ah Paris!

Wow--this is the best Monday I have had in a long time! Maybe not one single particular reason, but I am overwhelmed with feeling GOOD.  Good in my skin, my head...and mon coeur!  Maybe a large contributing factor is that I am still in the 'glow' of having spent a fabulous day in Paris yesterday with my chere-amie, Kim!  My first visit with a friend from 'back home' and I am convinced that she came all this way just to see 'moi'  and of course only used the excuse that her sweet-spouse (a famous ---trés-célèbre--video game creator....and all around fantastic person...I might add) had a business engagement in France...I know that really she came just to run and play around Paris with her favorite Pacific Northwest ex-pat.

Here's a little back-story, I met this fabulous gal only one time before (in person) on a plane headed to San Francisco.  She was on her way to France (I don't want to 'out' her on the internet, but I think she has a little addiction issue with the place....just saying.) and we, French Guy and I were on our way to SF to the Immigration office to get my Visa sorted out so we could move to France...('sorted out' we thought---that's another story.)  Anyway--Kim was cramming on her French conversation homework and we chatted about her travel plans and our future move, and as you do nowadays, exchanged blog addresses and Facebook information--and voila!  Amie pour la vie!

When I found out she was coming to Paris (just to see ME)... I decided that my next big adventure and initiation into being 'more French', should be that I meet up with her by taking a two hour train from Deauville to Paris on my own, find my way to her hotel via taxi and spend the day exploring interesting places around Paris (or at least around the 6, 7 and 8th arrondissement). Kim is a photographer and I like to take pictures--so it made sense to make plans to hit at least one market and we started out on the Rue Raspail, which she pointed out is the same marché that Ina Garten shops at when she is in Paris.  (Oooh la la!)  Wouldn't it have been great to run into her there!?

 

I took less pictures than I normally would.  Mon amie made a great point--it is hard to shoot while keeping a conversation going and the time with my friend significantly over-ruled my need to take pictures in Paris!

We had a delightful lunch at Le Petit Zinc after treking around for about 30 minutes looking for it, asking kind strangers for directions and trying to get the GPS fired up in Kim's phone....my favorite response to my asking a passing lady if she knew where Rue Saint Benoit was...her answer, as she casually pointed over her shoulder...." Oui! Oui! C'est la bas!"  ("It's over there!"...more or less.)

I will share more details in another post about our 'Dimanche à Paris'... The train trip back was a bit of a debacle and I learned some important things about traveling by train...note to file!

But for now, I am left with fond memories, a few good pictures and of course the anticipation of mon amies next visit to the city of lights--or better yet--a longer visit to Basse Normandy--to stay at (or very near!) our petit maison in our little beachside town...I hear that her sweet spouse likes bunkers--and we have them right on our beach--about  eight of them, spaced every 100 meters.....

She leaves to return to the Pacific Northwest soon.  I cannot say how lovely it has been to have her here, in the same time zone here in Cheeseland and sharing a day in Paris....there is nothing better in life than the comfort of a friend from home.  I will not say adieu---only "A bientot, mon amie".....  and "Merci pour une belle journée !"

Happiness is a decision.

It's hard to believe it was just one short week ago... it feels like months, and it feels like we were in an entirely different world for seven long days.  I wrote 'Le Detour' (previous post) to take a breather and also because at the moment of writing my heart was being ripped out with worry and devastation.  And now it is gone, done....C'est fini.

Only a very few details here mes amis.  I will not recount it now for you.  It was a short journey to Hell for me... a journey to Hell and back.  AND BACK.  Yes, I am back and everything....absolutely everything is better, better than better.

We had a horrible scare that involved our littlest enfante.  Something we had seen develop subtly for a few months that hit critical red-flag last week---we couldn't believe our eyes and I fell into a tail-spin of shock and grief. We sent out an 'SOS' message to friends and family, and I started to pray like there was no tomorrow.

God listened, God heard. God answered.  It was nothing less than that.  I give all credit --ALL to His grace.  Petite Fille improved with leaps and bounds, returning to 'normal' within five days.  Although we will still be on 'red-alert' for the future, we are back from Hell....for good.

When these things happen and you emerge from the other side, you realize that every single moment of life is golden and precious.  I can say that the change for me has been profound--I am joyful, almost giddy about life--over the top grateful for my precious little ones, the life I have, my family, and yes--my HOME.  I embrace whatever it is that comes my way with new optimism, unheard of strength and most important--hugely renewed FAITH.  If God wanted my attention--well 'Ooh la vache!' He got it!

I have been for a long time now--mucking through the discomfort of living in a new culture, missing my family in the US, missing my friends, my 'home'.... resistant to finding any of it here.  I have seen the phrase, "Happiness is a decision" a lot lately.  It is.  You go through life waiting for happiness, waiting for whatever it is that equates to contentment by your own definition....or instead of waiting you can CHOSE it.  After last week--I am all over it....not to say that there are no worries, concerns, stress in each day, but choosing to be happy and holding onto faith... is the choice I am making.  I will not spend my life waiting to win the lottery and completely not notice that I hold the winning ticket in my hand.

This has been an interesting 'detour'-- I wouldn't wish it on anyone or want to do it again, and I don't think I will.  What I learned about it has changed my life permanently...and I am blessed.  

To be continued mes amis-- mais bien sur! 

Le Detour

On every 'Fil de la Vie'  ~ road of life~ we often encounter detours.... It's been an interesting few weeks for me (months?) In juggling blog-writing, relationships, aspirations and taking even a tiny bit of time to dream....a detour appeared and momentarily everything has come to a screeching halt.

As it turns out, this unanticipated detour is going to take some time to work out and I think it's best to take a little break.  So just in case you are checking in and missing me (I hope you are....checking in.  Okay--and missing me too!) I just wanted to do a short post and say--there are times to write about life and there are times just to live it.  Right now I just need to live it.....at least until I figure out how to navigate 'le deviation' and get back to the main road.

A bientot mes amis.  I truly hope to return soon!

Joyeux Halloween!

 

Our second Halloween in France and we decided to throw a little 'fete' and show our French (and Brit!) friends a little Halloween-flare 'American Style!' because so far we have found Halloween in France to be a tiny bit disorganized and somewhat sporadic, but refreshingly less commercial. And in the true spirit of making the best of it--when in France--if you can't find a party--make a party!

The ghosts were made of bottle drying racks and soccer balls covered with sheets, the huge 'caldron' came from a brocante as well.  You might not notice but not one jack-o-lantern!  We managed without as we never did find traditional orange pumpkins at the market--so instead we used farmer's market squashes!

The other discovery was that for the first time 'Oldest Garcon' did NOT want to dress-up!  Guess he is getting to the age that he is too cool for it!  The other kids dressed up in traditional witch, zombies and goolies!  (The fake gel-blood was a bit much though!  Yes, I am a wimp!) and I was happy that 'Middle Garcon' decided at the end only to be a pirate (Jack Sparrow) and not a undead-zombie pirate!  Didn't want him to scare 'Petite Fille' who wore her favorite pumpkin hat, but alas was caught by the local spooks and put in the caldron to make a sweet pumpkin soup!

.......h-e-l-p-    ....m-e.....!

.... and finally, the brave doggies came to her rescue!

A sweet 'Happy Ending'  all around!  

Joyeux Halloween Mes Amis!

Normandy October ....

As I found out last year -- there are two things missing from Autumn in Normandy.  Although we have the chilly weather, loads of apples (and 'cidre'!) and eventually even a bit of fall-foliage color -- Halloween is only done very small scale -- and Thanksgiving is non-existent (mais bien sur!)  But being a fall-gal (now 'half-French' or not!) I need these things to really fully feel 'at home'.... So we are planning a little 'Fête de Halloween'  this weekend for our neighborhood friends at our house and yesterday I made some decorations for the front door on a gorgeous sunny, cool day... while sipping hot chai-tea (sent by my best-best belle-amie in a surprise birthday package) and I have to tell you I completely fell head-over-heals into the 'Autumn Spirit'.... as if I was not already there!

Now I just need to sort out Thanksgiving -- I will be recruiting ex-pats to join us for a dinner, planning to spring the kids from school for the day and beginning my search 'a toute de suite' for a whole turkey (not a breast, leg or roast---a whole one!  Not easy to find at all!)

In the meantime--my new greatest addiction is homemade yogurt.  Believe me when I say it is the easiest thing to make on the planet--especially since we have UHT milk here so there is not need to heat the milk first...oh and yes--although I know it's not necessary--I do use a yogurt 'machine' which is a small version of a crock-pot....'French Guy' brought it home and I love the press-the-button-and-walk-away convenience of it.

I have been meaning to bake up some of the gigantic (softball size!) organic apples we have brought home from la ferme at the chateau and we need to drop over there this evening to see if they have the cher-tradtional pumpkins (also not easy to find!)  So wish us luck -- sometimes living in France and recreating home traditions is like a treasure hunt!

Hope you are also having a fabulous week!  A bientot mes amis!

Birthday Season

 It's my birthday weekend!  Did I mention this looming exciting event in recent posts? Well it's here.  There is no turning back -- tomorrow, Sunday, I turn ..... 35.  Okay a little more than that.  35 plus taxes ....French taxes....as 'French Guy' likes to say.  In any event... it is coming.  I love weekend birthdays, because then you get a few days of 'Birthday Weekend' instead of just 'Birthday's Eve' which is all you get when you have a birthday on a weekday.

I have learned in my old age youth, to be very obvious about my birthday... there is no such thing as subtle hinting...I did that years ago, when I was like ... 22....you know, you keep quiet and just hope that someone remembers; that new guy you are dating, your 'BFF' and your siblings and parents...well siblings and parents of course remember...So here's my new (as in the last ten years) 'M.O.' (modus operandi') about it.....TELL EVERYONE.  Days, maybe even weeks in advance.....if you want anyone to send well wishes and birthday kudos....

So here I am on birthday's eve....I have posted, I have alluded, I have made my list of demands to 'French Guy';  shopping on birthday eve day, sleeping-in on birthday morning, coffee in bed (but I get that every day---I seriously do--how lucky am I!?) lunch or dinner of  'les moules' and a 1000 layer crepe cake and champagne... oh, and some macarons, and I wouldn't stick my nose up for some chocolate if it was thrown in somewhere in the plan....anywhere in the plan...breakfast with my coffee would be good.

It is now the season of birthdays in our family---our little family of five all have birthdays in the next 4 months...I start in October, then in two and a half weeks, 'Middle Garcon' in November, then 'Petite Fille' and 'Oldest Garcon' in January, then 'French Guy' in February...if 'Petite Fille' had arrived on her due date in December, we would have had one birthday a month; October, November, December, January, February...

Well so far I have to say it has been a spectacular birthday--43 was pretty amazing--the move to France, the birth of 'Petite Fille'..and 100's of other blessings.  I am thinking that 44 will rock too--as scary as that number seems to me. (Being that it is so much closer to 45 than to 40!)

So Joyeux Anniversaire--to me!  Another year; another country, language, baby...LIFE....Oh, and blog!  Thanks for being there with me!

A bientot mes amis--I need to get to bed--I hear there is a BIG celebration tomorrow!

Style, style, style ...

 It has happened.  Mon amie, Aidan, at Conjugating Irregular Verbs, has awarded to me-- the infamous 'Stylish Blogger Award', aka- 'SBA'...in other words she has passed on the proverbial 'hot-potato'.... that requires me to make 7 statements about something you may not know about 'moi' and in this case; something stylish in my life (with the theme being Fall/Autumn style.....) and then when I am done, pass on the honor to bloggers that I admire in a style-y kind of way....

So here goes -- for better or for worse!

1. I am crazy for grey! I wear it, paint it, photograph it....I put grey in every corner, crack and wall--and paint everything that I can get my hands on grey---I am a force to be reckoned with when given a brush and a can of grey paint...and by the way, according to Wikipedia--there are 254 'true-greys'....I intend to use every single one of them.  I even have the most perfect grey nail-color by Yves Saint Laurent ...  definitely a fall 'must have'!

It's called 'Stormy No. 39' .....  I bought it on my third trip to France--have worn it for years since and is the only time I ever justified spending $30 on a tiny bottle of polish!

 Okay...moving on...

2. I throw a fierce party --- I love to entertain, but it is both a blessing and a curse that I cannot do it half way.....take last weekend for example--the collage of pics appears above; a simple, no big deal idea to cook paella outside on an open fire-pit....we invited a few friends with the idea that it would be casual....c-a-s-u-a-l......Maybe I always feel that Martha Stewart might just coincidentally be in the neighborhood and pop in for an aperitif--I should be ready---just in case, yes?

3.  Oh dear---three...not even half way there....I am thinking...I am thinking......style, style, style.... I spent most of last year pregnant and just as I was starting to 'blossom' we moved to France---talk about a total style-identity crisis--- I was able to manage with a few favorite items from H&M (here in France too!  Hooray!)  So now NOT pregnant (I can say that for sure) and unpacking my NOT-pregnant fall wardrobe this afternoon--sent me into a little style-identity-personal-crisis----"Do I still want to wear that?"  I have no idea what my body is doing--or my weight for that matter...so I am still trying to figure it all out.  There will be no style awards in this category for me I'm afraid.

4....I'm gonna to have to condense this--who knew I could write so much about style?!  (Shhh! I heard that French Guy!)  Hair--so last year I got my hair cut (bob-style) in March--we moved in June--and I went without a hair-cut (or style for that matter) for ONE YEAR!  I was so scared to try a new stylist, but when I finally reconciled with the fact that I would not be catching the Concord to have an appointment with my tried and true favorite stylist on the planet in Seattle--ever....I finally went in for a trim in Trouville about 10 minutes from home---and now my hair is long--after not having it cut for a year--and I kinda like it.  Not sure if it is 'age-appropriate'---can a 40-something wear a pony-tail?  Not sure. But I like it.

5.  Fall style....ah!  Scarves!  (Les escharpe!)  I adore scarves---another thing I have worn religiously for about 20 years---French women wear them like no other culture can!  I think there is a school somewhere for 'scarf-styling'......

6. Phew! Almost there---boots--I also have a thing for boots!  In my 'collection' I have two pairs of classic 'Frye' boots one grey (bien sur!) and one black--they are amazing!  I intend to bequeath them to 'Petite Fille'...she will adore them too I am sure!  Oh and here is the next pair of boots that I am hinting for, for my birthday....hint, hint.....kinda equestrian meets 'town and country' don't you think?

7.  At last--lucky number 7.  It's my birthday on Sunday and getting one year older always causes me to to re-think my style--not because I am eager to re-invent myself with each passing year, but rather--my lifelong style-goal has been to finally, finally be comfortable in my own skin---be it older, heavier, thinner, short hair, long hair.....my ultimate style goal is that--just to be content, strong, and comfortable in my skin---I am still working on that--maybe by this birthday....I think I am getting closer....I'll let you know.

Thanks again dear Aidan---I do appreciate the award and hope I have done the topic justice!  Now to pass it on to more deserving style godesses than I........

• Kim at Mimi Charmante/Kimberly Taylor Images (for rockin' that new hairstyle--and that is only a tiny example of your gorgeousness!)

• Ange at Signed by Ange (word styling fabulousness!)

• Rachel at French Farmhouse 425 (who has the most beautifully styled haven and the grace to share it...)

• Samantha at Seven Letters--(I know you must have gotten this before so dust of the mantle and make room for another!)

Tag girls!  You are it!

Wool Sweater

I am feeling the pinch of being very behind on multiple projects.  As much as I try to relax, take a deep breath and re-focus, I seem to be de-railed at every serious effort to catch up; quiet moments while Petite-Fille naps or late hours of the night when I should be catching up on my own Zzz's ...there still doesn't seem to be enough time in the day to do it all.

I am soon launching my foodie-blog and I am full of inspriration--but as I work on it I am dealing with the frustration of sorting out the new computer stuff (even though 'she' is fabulous....although NOT pink, and not a Dell....sigh....there is a lot of new things and yes, even some glitches to get around!) So that often when I am on a roll to do something; editing pictures, looking for a contact, or a bookmark....I have to pause and think about what I am doing and where that data might be, rather than the reflexive and rapid way I would prefer to work.  Even the different key-board at times makes me type a letter off causing my 3000 WPM's to go down to about 20......okay, maybe not 3000.....but close.

I recently jumped on a link to another blogger who was tackling the very common topic of 'change' and she was likening change to being a 'scratchy and uncomfortable' place.  I think we all agree on that simile and for some reason right now, be it the seasons, my parents departing, health stuff, a rapidly looming birthday or stupid things like Facebook changing-up things that were working just fine---grrrrrrrr!  --too many changes!  Many people around me are feelin' it too.  So yes, uncomfortable---very scratchy---wool sweater scratchy...you know, you want to wear it but there is just something about it that makes your neck prickly?

So beyond the new computer, my 'wool sweater' is also in the form of family issues....after the transition of 'les enfantes' back into school last month, there is now the little snaggy-things popping up....Oldest Garcon although having a ball in '7th' grade is having some focus issues and Middle Garcon may or may not be showing some signs of dyslexia, but it's hard to tell because it seems to be in his French, but not in his English......Petite Fille at nine months has emerged over-night as an entirely new creature---who crawls, pulls up, and is trying to walk...and wants to constantly go-go-go!!  On a negative note; hates her car-seat, still is not entirely sleeping through the night, and is showing signs of food allergies.....(cucumber, rice, corn....and maybe dairy...so far.) These things get under my skin.

So although the chill of fall and the grey skies--(also coming out of no-where!) requires donning the wool-sweater, as itchy as it is....I would much prefer cotton--like the cotton blanket on my bed, my cotton socks, and my fluffy comforter to forgo the sweater-thing all together.  It could be a perfect day to stay in bed, pull up the covers, sipping hot coffee, laptop on lap--and catch up on some work!  Sounds lovely, yes?  Maybe I can put off the wool sweater just for today.

Identity Crisis #543

I am having a little 'identity crisis'..... it happens.  C'est normale, oui?  When things around me change; people come and go, the weather switches seasons, and then back again within a weeks time, a large project is completed...... I am missing something familiar; a place, a person, a time .... and then the worst thing happens, that ugly little thing known as self-doubt takes over, despite the recent accomplishments or the new aspirations....that little annoying cloud then triggers the all encompassing creativity block.... (insert c-r-i-n-g-e....) I want to write but I can't, cooking something amazing seems tedious, my patience with les enfantes wanes, I have an achey camera arm, 'Photographer's Elbow', I start to knit something for Petite Fille and attention deficit disorder kicks in.....

Quelle dommage!  It sucks. I try to remedy it by looking outside of my little cloud and seeing what everyone else is up to....bad idea....sometimes.  Everyone else seems to be brilliantly blogging, have 2000 followers and 372 comments on each post, are getting published, making witty status updates on Facebook, traveling to far off places or sitting on a beach sipping a Mojito.....creativity and brilliance just seeping from every pore.... I don't feel better.  I feel anxious.

I pull out a 'to-do' list---scratch off laundry, cat litter box, cleaning out the fridge, packing away summer clothes.... and replace those items with --  finish that book, start that new blog, sew those drapes, write that thank you note.....bake some bread, redecorate the livingroom, make that inspiration wall....which then leads to ... touch up all the paint in the house, fill every table with fresh cut flowers from my perfectly weeded garden, plan a dinner party, lose those last 5 kilos, get published in a magazine .... and with the time left over.... find the solution for world peace and get one of those little Pullitzer Prize thingy's......

You see what happens--the 'to-do' list gives way to the 'aspiration' list which then snow-balls into the impossible dream list -- which all comes back to what I really, really want is... a few more followers and feedback on my blogs, a few more sales at my Etsy shop, a word of encouragement about something I have done, to inspire one person occasionally and to be told I have .... oh, and a clean house... and if not that, a full night's sleep.  Actually I would give up all of the above for a full night's sleep....Seriously.

But what I think is most interesting, even as I look at those brilliant bloggers, creative artists, exceptional business people, talented writers and inspired photographers, I know that despite what looks to be golden fluently-flowing creativity and brilliance....and perfect homes, children, lifestyles, etc..... I am betting that those people go through the exact same thing I am today.  I think I might be in very good company.

I had never heard this quote before today--and I will end this post with it.

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

~Steve Jobs (1955 – October 5, 2011), American entrepreneur and inventor

 Your heart and intuition already know what you truly want to become.....you just have to have the courage to follow....

and in the meantime....time to go change the cat-litter....... a bientot!

They have departed .....

Time flies....

Mom and Dad's deux semaines visit ended yesterday and they left for the airport in Paris around 6 AM to catch their short six hour flight to go back home.  Today Middle Garcon is home from school (c'est Mercredi) and while Petite Fille naps I am trying to get my head together so I can move on to the next thing...the sooner I do, the better I will feel as the clock begins again for their next visit, possibly in six more months--but we of course hope for less...like January would be great -- when Petite Fille turns one and Oldest Garcon becomes a teen--at long last!

I didn't do well when they left from their previous visit in April--you can see in this post-after their visit.  I took a head-long emotional crash... I seriously did cry for days (dainty, grown-up girl, tears.....okay--puffy-eyed ugly sob-fests....).  My parents visits are always too short and the distance in between too long.  Even though we see them almost as frequently as we did when we lived on the West Coast and Pacific NW, the distance between the East Coast and another country seems like more.  We have however started to Skype--that makes it better--at least they can see first person, Petite Fille's milestones (currently she slither/crawls, claps, 'dances' says 'Mama' or 'Mum-Mum' and a repertoire of other entertaining gestures....).

There are reminders of their visits all around after they go; they bring suitcases full of cher things that we love from 'home'...... piles of Old Navy clothes for the kids, books (in English!) cooking things for me and CoverGirl make-up that I can't get here.....they always arrive with an extra suitcase of goodies.

This time their visit was filled with French-Family activities (the wedding of course, lunches and visits...) I took them for a long walk on the beach--to show them my jogging-route, it was a treat for me because I wasn't jogging but instead hauling my camera along and taking time to soak in the Normandy beach gorgeousness and seeing through their eyes one of my daily experiences--that is one of the best part about having them visit...sharing our life...even the mundane and normal stuff like going to the market, taking an evening walk, visiting the 'Chateau' to get fresh picked veggies....things we do on a day to day or weekly basis--but to share it with people we love makes it golden.

Their departure left me with a less 'kick-in-the-gut' sensation than the prior one, thankfully.  As my French progresses and we create more and more routines and rituals in our French-life, that magical (and sometimes elusive) sense of home develops too.  I want to share it with friends and family more than I want to escape it and go back 'home' to the old familiar life in the US.  That's big.

Sigh.......later on today I will call them to make sure they got home safely.  They leave France and arrive in Boston at about the same time because of the time difference.  I have already moved the 'tween back into his room and cleaned up 'Camp Garcon', the 'bunk' room for the two boys while Grandma and Grandpa are here.  I am back to blogging (obviously) and trying to fill up our calendar with some fun things for the weekend so we re-group as a little family again....

C'est une bonne visite, naturellement.  We miss you already.