Normandy October ....

As I found out last year -- there are two things missing from Autumn in Normandy.  Although we have the chilly weather, loads of apples (and 'cidre'!) and eventually even a bit of fall-foliage color -- Halloween is only done very small scale -- and Thanksgiving is non-existent (mais bien sur!)  But being a fall-gal (now 'half-French' or not!) I need these things to really fully feel 'at home'.... So we are planning a little 'Fête de Halloween'  this weekend for our neighborhood friends at our house and yesterday I made some decorations for the front door on a gorgeous sunny, cool day... while sipping hot chai-tea (sent by my best-best belle-amie in a surprise birthday package) and I have to tell you I completely fell head-over-heals into the 'Autumn Spirit'.... as if I was not already there!

Now I just need to sort out Thanksgiving -- I will be recruiting ex-pats to join us for a dinner, planning to spring the kids from school for the day and beginning my search 'a toute de suite' for a whole turkey (not a breast, leg or roast---a whole one!  Not easy to find at all!)

In the meantime--my new greatest addiction is homemade yogurt.  Believe me when I say it is the easiest thing to make on the planet--especially since we have UHT milk here so there is not need to heat the milk first...oh and yes--although I know it's not necessary--I do use a yogurt 'machine' which is a small version of a crock-pot....'French Guy' brought it home and I love the press-the-button-and-walk-away convenience of it.

I have been meaning to bake up some of the gigantic (softball size!) organic apples we have brought home from la ferme at the chateau and we need to drop over there this evening to see if they have the cher-tradtional pumpkins (also not easy to find!)  So wish us luck -- sometimes living in France and recreating home traditions is like a treasure hunt!

Hope you are also having a fabulous week!  A bientot mes amis!

Birthday Season

 It's my birthday weekend!  Did I mention this looming exciting event in recent posts? Well it's here.  There is no turning back -- tomorrow, Sunday, I turn ..... 35.  Okay a little more than that.  35 plus taxes ....French taxes....as 'French Guy' likes to say.  In any event... it is coming.  I love weekend birthdays, because then you get a few days of 'Birthday Weekend' instead of just 'Birthday's Eve' which is all you get when you have a birthday on a weekday.

I have learned in my old age youth, to be very obvious about my birthday... there is no such thing as subtle hinting...I did that years ago, when I was like ... 22....you know, you keep quiet and just hope that someone remembers; that new guy you are dating, your 'BFF' and your siblings and parents...well siblings and parents of course remember...So here's my new (as in the last ten years) 'M.O.' (modus operandi') about it.....TELL EVERYONE.  Days, maybe even weeks in advance.....if you want anyone to send well wishes and birthday kudos....

So here I am on birthday's eve....I have posted, I have alluded, I have made my list of demands to 'French Guy';  shopping on birthday eve day, sleeping-in on birthday morning, coffee in bed (but I get that every day---I seriously do--how lucky am I!?) lunch or dinner of  'les moules' and a 1000 layer crepe cake and champagne... oh, and some macarons, and I wouldn't stick my nose up for some chocolate if it was thrown in somewhere in the plan....anywhere in the plan...breakfast with my coffee would be good.

It is now the season of birthdays in our family---our little family of five all have birthdays in the next 4 months...I start in October, then in two and a half weeks, 'Middle Garcon' in November, then 'Petite Fille' and 'Oldest Garcon' in January, then 'French Guy' in February...if 'Petite Fille' had arrived on her due date in December, we would have had one birthday a month; October, November, December, January, February...

Well so far I have to say it has been a spectacular birthday--43 was pretty amazing--the move to France, the birth of 'Petite Fille'..and 100's of other blessings.  I am thinking that 44 will rock too--as scary as that number seems to me. (Being that it is so much closer to 45 than to 40!)

So Joyeux Anniversaire--to me!  Another year; another country, language, baby...LIFE....Oh, and blog!  Thanks for being there with me!

A bientot mes amis--I need to get to bed--I hear there is a BIG celebration tomorrow!

Style, style, style ...

 It has happened.  Mon amie, Aidan, at Conjugating Irregular Verbs, has awarded to me-- the infamous 'Stylish Blogger Award', aka- 'SBA'...in other words she has passed on the proverbial 'hot-potato'.... that requires me to make 7 statements about something you may not know about 'moi' and in this case; something stylish in my life (with the theme being Fall/Autumn style.....) and then when I am done, pass on the honor to bloggers that I admire in a style-y kind of way....

So here goes -- for better or for worse!

1. I am crazy for grey! I wear it, paint it, photograph it....I put grey in every corner, crack and wall--and paint everything that I can get my hands on grey---I am a force to be reckoned with when given a brush and a can of grey paint...and by the way, according to Wikipedia--there are 254 'true-greys'....I intend to use every single one of them.  I even have the most perfect grey nail-color by Yves Saint Laurent ...  definitely a fall 'must have'!

It's called 'Stormy No. 39' .....  I bought it on my third trip to France--have worn it for years since and is the only time I ever justified spending $30 on a tiny bottle of polish!

 Okay...moving on...

2. I throw a fierce party --- I love to entertain, but it is both a blessing and a curse that I cannot do it half way.....take last weekend for example--the collage of pics appears above; a simple, no big deal idea to cook paella outside on an open fire-pit....we invited a few friends with the idea that it would be casual....c-a-s-u-a-l......Maybe I always feel that Martha Stewart might just coincidentally be in the neighborhood and pop in for an aperitif--I should be ready---just in case, yes?

3.  Oh dear---three...not even half way there....I am thinking...I am thinking......style, style, style.... I spent most of last year pregnant and just as I was starting to 'blossom' we moved to France---talk about a total style-identity crisis--- I was able to manage with a few favorite items from H&M (here in France too!  Hooray!)  So now NOT pregnant (I can say that for sure) and unpacking my NOT-pregnant fall wardrobe this afternoon--sent me into a little style-identity-personal-crisis----"Do I still want to wear that?"  I have no idea what my body is doing--or my weight for that matter...so I am still trying to figure it all out.  There will be no style awards in this category for me I'm afraid.

4....I'm gonna to have to condense this--who knew I could write so much about style?!  (Shhh! I heard that French Guy!)  Hair--so last year I got my hair cut (bob-style) in March--we moved in June--and I went without a hair-cut (or style for that matter) for ONE YEAR!  I was so scared to try a new stylist, but when I finally reconciled with the fact that I would not be catching the Concord to have an appointment with my tried and true favorite stylist on the planet in Seattle--ever....I finally went in for a trim in Trouville about 10 minutes from home---and now my hair is long--after not having it cut for a year--and I kinda like it.  Not sure if it is 'age-appropriate'---can a 40-something wear a pony-tail?  Not sure. But I like it.

5.  Fall style....ah!  Scarves!  (Les escharpe!)  I adore scarves---another thing I have worn religiously for about 20 years---French women wear them like no other culture can!  I think there is a school somewhere for 'scarf-styling'......

6. Phew! Almost there---boots--I also have a thing for boots!  In my 'collection' I have two pairs of classic 'Frye' boots one grey (bien sur!) and one black--they are amazing!  I intend to bequeath them to 'Petite Fille'...she will adore them too I am sure!  Oh and here is the next pair of boots that I am hinting for, for my birthday....hint, hint.....kinda equestrian meets 'town and country' don't you think?

7.  At last--lucky number 7.  It's my birthday on Sunday and getting one year older always causes me to to re-think my style--not because I am eager to re-invent myself with each passing year, but rather--my lifelong style-goal has been to finally, finally be comfortable in my own skin---be it older, heavier, thinner, short hair, long hair.....my ultimate style goal is that--just to be content, strong, and comfortable in my skin---I am still working on that--maybe by this birthday....I think I am getting closer....I'll let you know.

Thanks again dear Aidan---I do appreciate the award and hope I have done the topic justice!  Now to pass it on to more deserving style godesses than I........

• Kim at Mimi Charmante/Kimberly Taylor Images (for rockin' that new hairstyle--and that is only a tiny example of your gorgeousness!)

• Ange at Signed by Ange (word styling fabulousness!)

• Rachel at French Farmhouse 425 (who has the most beautifully styled haven and the grace to share it...)

• Samantha at Seven Letters--(I know you must have gotten this before so dust of the mantle and make room for another!)

Tag girls!  You are it!

Wool Sweater

I am feeling the pinch of being very behind on multiple projects.  As much as I try to relax, take a deep breath and re-focus, I seem to be de-railed at every serious effort to catch up; quiet moments while Petite-Fille naps or late hours of the night when I should be catching up on my own Zzz's ...there still doesn't seem to be enough time in the day to do it all.

I am soon launching my foodie-blog and I am full of inspriration--but as I work on it I am dealing with the frustration of sorting out the new computer stuff (even though 'she' is fabulous....although NOT pink, and not a Dell....sigh....there is a lot of new things and yes, even some glitches to get around!) So that often when I am on a roll to do something; editing pictures, looking for a contact, or a bookmark....I have to pause and think about what I am doing and where that data might be, rather than the reflexive and rapid way I would prefer to work.  Even the different key-board at times makes me type a letter off causing my 3000 WPM's to go down to about 20......okay, maybe not 3000.....but close.

I recently jumped on a link to another blogger who was tackling the very common topic of 'change' and she was likening change to being a 'scratchy and uncomfortable' place.  I think we all agree on that simile and for some reason right now, be it the seasons, my parents departing, health stuff, a rapidly looming birthday or stupid things like Facebook changing-up things that were working just fine---grrrrrrrr!  --too many changes!  Many people around me are feelin' it too.  So yes, uncomfortable---very scratchy---wool sweater scratchy...you know, you want to wear it but there is just something about it that makes your neck prickly?

So beyond the new computer, my 'wool sweater' is also in the form of family issues....after the transition of 'les enfantes' back into school last month, there is now the little snaggy-things popping up....Oldest Garcon although having a ball in '7th' grade is having some focus issues and Middle Garcon may or may not be showing some signs of dyslexia, but it's hard to tell because it seems to be in his French, but not in his English......Petite Fille at nine months has emerged over-night as an entirely new creature---who crawls, pulls up, and is trying to walk...and wants to constantly go-go-go!!  On a negative note; hates her car-seat, still is not entirely sleeping through the night, and is showing signs of food allergies.....(cucumber, rice, corn....and maybe dairy...so far.) These things get under my skin.

So although the chill of fall and the grey skies--(also coming out of no-where!) requires donning the wool-sweater, as itchy as it is....I would much prefer cotton--like the cotton blanket on my bed, my cotton socks, and my fluffy comforter to forgo the sweater-thing all together.  It could be a perfect day to stay in bed, pull up the covers, sipping hot coffee, laptop on lap--and catch up on some work!  Sounds lovely, yes?  Maybe I can put off the wool sweater just for today.

Identity Crisis #543

I am having a little 'identity crisis'..... it happens.  C'est normale, oui?  When things around me change; people come and go, the weather switches seasons, and then back again within a weeks time, a large project is completed...... I am missing something familiar; a place, a person, a time .... and then the worst thing happens, that ugly little thing known as self-doubt takes over, despite the recent accomplishments or the new aspirations....that little annoying cloud then triggers the all encompassing creativity block.... (insert c-r-i-n-g-e....) I want to write but I can't, cooking something amazing seems tedious, my patience with les enfantes wanes, I have an achey camera arm, 'Photographer's Elbow', I start to knit something for Petite Fille and attention deficit disorder kicks in.....

Quelle dommage!  It sucks. I try to remedy it by looking outside of my little cloud and seeing what everyone else is up to....bad idea....sometimes.  Everyone else seems to be brilliantly blogging, have 2000 followers and 372 comments on each post, are getting published, making witty status updates on Facebook, traveling to far off places or sitting on a beach sipping a Mojito.....creativity and brilliance just seeping from every pore.... I don't feel better.  I feel anxious.

I pull out a 'to-do' list---scratch off laundry, cat litter box, cleaning out the fridge, packing away summer clothes.... and replace those items with --  finish that book, start that new blog, sew those drapes, write that thank you note.....bake some bread, redecorate the livingroom, make that inspiration wall....which then leads to ... touch up all the paint in the house, fill every table with fresh cut flowers from my perfectly weeded garden, plan a dinner party, lose those last 5 kilos, get published in a magazine .... and with the time left over.... find the solution for world peace and get one of those little Pullitzer Prize thingy's......

You see what happens--the 'to-do' list gives way to the 'aspiration' list which then snow-balls into the impossible dream list -- which all comes back to what I really, really want is... a few more followers and feedback on my blogs, a few more sales at my Etsy shop, a word of encouragement about something I have done, to inspire one person occasionally and to be told I have .... oh, and a clean house... and if not that, a full night's sleep.  Actually I would give up all of the above for a full night's sleep....Seriously.

But what I think is most interesting, even as I look at those brilliant bloggers, creative artists, exceptional business people, talented writers and inspired photographers, I know that despite what looks to be golden fluently-flowing creativity and brilliance....and perfect homes, children, lifestyles, etc..... I am betting that those people go through the exact same thing I am today.  I think I might be in very good company.

I had never heard this quote before today--and I will end this post with it.

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

~Steve Jobs (1955 – October 5, 2011), American entrepreneur and inventor

 Your heart and intuition already know what you truly want to become.....you just have to have the courage to follow....

and in the meantime....time to go change the cat-litter....... a bientot!

They have departed .....

Time flies....

Mom and Dad's deux semaines visit ended yesterday and they left for the airport in Paris around 6 AM to catch their short six hour flight to go back home.  Today Middle Garcon is home from school (c'est Mercredi) and while Petite Fille naps I am trying to get my head together so I can move on to the next thing...the sooner I do, the better I will feel as the clock begins again for their next visit, possibly in six more months--but we of course hope for less...like January would be great -- when Petite Fille turns one and Oldest Garcon becomes a teen--at long last!

I didn't do well when they left from their previous visit in April--you can see in this post-after their visit.  I took a head-long emotional crash... I seriously did cry for days (dainty, grown-up girl, tears.....okay--puffy-eyed ugly sob-fests....).  My parents visits are always too short and the distance in between too long.  Even though we see them almost as frequently as we did when we lived on the West Coast and Pacific NW, the distance between the East Coast and another country seems like more.  We have however started to Skype--that makes it better--at least they can see first person, Petite Fille's milestones (currently she slither/crawls, claps, 'dances' says 'Mama' or 'Mum-Mum' and a repertoire of other entertaining gestures....).

There are reminders of their visits all around after they go; they bring suitcases full of cher things that we love from 'home'...... piles of Old Navy clothes for the kids, books (in English!) cooking things for me and CoverGirl make-up that I can't get here.....they always arrive with an extra suitcase of goodies.

This time their visit was filled with French-Family activities (the wedding of course, lunches and visits...) I took them for a long walk on the beach--to show them my jogging-route, it was a treat for me because I wasn't jogging but instead hauling my camera along and taking time to soak in the Normandy beach gorgeousness and seeing through their eyes one of my daily experiences--that is one of the best part about having them visit...sharing our life...even the mundane and normal stuff like going to the market, taking an evening walk, visiting the 'Chateau' to get fresh picked veggies....things we do on a day to day or weekly basis--but to share it with people we love makes it golden.

Their departure left me with a less 'kick-in-the-gut' sensation than the prior one, thankfully.  As my French progresses and we create more and more routines and rituals in our French-life, that magical (and sometimes elusive) sense of home develops too.  I want to share it with friends and family more than I want to escape it and go back 'home' to the old familiar life in the US.  That's big.

Sigh.......later on today I will call them to make sure they got home safely.  They leave France and arrive in Boston at about the same time because of the time difference.  I have already moved the 'tween back into his room and cleaned up 'Camp Garcon', the 'bunk' room for the two boys while Grandma and Grandpa are here.  I am back to blogging (obviously) and trying to fill up our calendar with some fun things for the weekend so we re-group as a little family again....

C'est une bonne visite, naturellement.  We miss you already.