Mamanzilla

Over the past few days, I have had serious concerns that I might be turning into 'Momzilla' or 'Mamanzilla'.... I have been hearing myself reading the riot-act to 'les garcons' and ranting to French Guy around dinner time each evening.

Granted I am tired.... really TIRED.  I have posted and lamented over the sleep--or non-sleep issue.  I calculate it has now been over one year that I have not slept through the night....meaning head hits the pillow at 'bedtime' and lifts off the pillow at morning time.....without one single interruption.....and maybe even long before that, as I have wrestled with my bon ami,  insomnia for many years, so as you can imagine, adding a baby to that equation is not pretty....neither am I due to the lack of sleep--(les-under-eye-concealer is my BFF..... c'est vrai!)

We've had a relaxed summer, no vacation trips, no visits from friends (Waaaaahhhhh!) and I finally gave-up on the idea of having 'structure' in our days aside from demanding requesting that the 'garcons' are out of bed by 10, dressed before 11 and do a small handful of chores.  We created a shortlist of required tasks and a few 'rules' of the land (ie- "if you argue with your brother, you lose 30 minutes of computer time"...) But our carefully thought out Magna Carta, in all it's simplicity, has fallen to the wayside..... and recently it would seem that my days have begun with the shrill sound of the 'Oldest Garcon' yelling at 'Middle Garcon' to "GET OUT OF MY ROOM NOW!".....) So very lovely.....Oh, and bonjour to you too!

So by afternoon--our house is a hot-bed of conflict and brotherly love and peaceful co-habitation has given way to mayhem....not the recipe for a happy home.  And I am tired.  Did I mention that already?  Momzilla gets the best of me, smoke comes from my ears and tears of frustration well up in my bloodshot eyes.......

They should be running for the hills at that point.  But they don't.  'Oldest Garcon' who is a pre-teen (much more 'teen' than 'pre' that's for sure!) is 'testing' out how far he can take the casual--too cool to be reprimanded stand--(all the while I can see that there is an inner conflict because he really is a sweet kid and as tough as he wants to be, he just can't pull it off) and 'Middle Garcon' who is 7 is all about direct, in-your-face defiance....."I will not do it if I am not feeling like doing it...." and actually says ' No...' and 'Nuh-Uh'......so smuggly that I could just ring his adorable little neck.....sometimes.

Ooh la la! What is 'Mamanzilla' to do!?  Many an ex-boyfriend, a girlfriend or two and poor-poor French Guy can attest to the fact that when I am upset about something I can beat it to death with words.....(What?! You are surprised by this?!)  So the highest form of torture I can come up with is to sit both and them down and talk about it (respect, compliance, cooperation, brotherly l-o-v-e.......) until they are blue in the face from boredom....But I don't like to.  I don't like the sound of it-- coming from my mouth, generated by my little less than patient, sleep deprived brain.....

Where are you Dr. Spock? Dr. Greenspan? ......Uh? Super-Nanny?!

I always fancied myself to be the peace-keeper in the house. La Americaine-gal, the French Guy, three cats, three dogs, two fish and now for the past 7 months, THREE kids.....living in Cheeseland--- harmoniously.....most of the time.  Sorta......